Happy Birthday Anna Nicole Smith !

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Happy Birthday Anna Nicole Smith !,

MargOH Channing

Happy Birthday Anna Nicole Smith !,

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By MargoOH! Channing


“I want a pickle, MargOH! get me a pickle”.

“I’m not getting you a pickle Anna, we’re in a pickle”, I said as I exited the limo

Sugar Pie went running between my legs and across the highway.

“OH! my christ”, I said

“Sugar Pie get back here, Sugar Pie”, Anna yelled as she slumped halfway out the limo

I darted across the highway to get Sugar Pie. She was running and jumping all over the place. I managed to scoop her up and Anna cheered with delight

“Way to go MargOH!” she started doing a cheer

“Listen Anna we gotta get gas” as we were stuck in the middle of nowhere on our way to Vegas for the AVN awards. Shelly hopped out of the driver’s seat whipped her tits out to the trucker that was coming and the semi screeched to a halt. The driver took one look at her and sped off faster than he stopped.

“Anna maybe you should try that for the next car, Shelly get your ass in the car” I screamed.

Anna then rolled out of the car onto the pavement crawled to the middle of the road. Tore her wife beater right down the middle. To my amazement her knockers stood straight up like torpedos.

No sooner did she do that a string of cars started speeding towards us as if her boobs had their own radar. Turns out it was mostly paparazzi that were on our tails. They all stepped out of their cars with camera’s blazing. Anna snapped out of her pickle craving haze and instantly turned it on. She took her arms and covered her ta ta’s. She turned the desert back drop into one of the most beautiful photo shoots I’ve seen. She jumped to her feet and swept her hair down and to the side with twenty camera’s clicking away.

The cops arrived shortly after! I was for sure we in for an indecent exposure arrest. I was wrong, they jumped into the photos and Anna gladly obliged. We were then given a police escort all the way to Vegas after the paparazzi filled our tank.

That was the gift of Anna Nicole Smith. She set a spell on both men and women alike. No matter how out of control or ridiculous Anna’s life became to the public everyone loved Anna…I know I did!

The year was 2000 and the year I spent living next door to Anna is one I’ll never forget. She was both charismatic and kind. She actually brought me a plate of cookies and a half full bottle of Jack Daniels as a housewarming gift. That year was the lead up to the start of her filming her reality show “The Anna Nicole Show”.  I came to realize after watching the show that Anna was in on the joke of that show. She rarely acted as kid like and zany as she did on the show.

When I think of Anna Nicole Smith I try not focus on her drug problems and the hot mess she became. I think of how amazing it is that a high school dropout from Mexia, Texas (where in the hell is that?) became the international star she was. She became Playmate of the year which led to top modeling gigs with Guess and Lane Bryant. She garnered parts in the films The Hudsucker Proxy and Naked Gun 33â…“: The Final Insult. It was said that her goal was to be a modern day Marilyn Monroe. She didn’t succeed to do that in film, however, she did capture the mystique and fascination of her fans and the world as Marilyn did.

Anna’s life was well documented especially during the filming of her cult status TV show “The Anna Nicole Show”. We learned all about her zany life and her family including the highly entertaining Shelly Cloud.  The show focused on Anna’s weight gain and financial problems along with her relationships with her son, assistant Kimmie, dog Sugar Pie and probably the most destructive person in her life Howard K. Stern. Though the show was short lived the one thing that shines through for me is how kind hearted Anna was. She loved her fans, friends and estranged family. You could tell she would give you the shirt off her back if she had it to give. Anna was one who donated a lot of her time to various causes including animal rights and AIDS charities.

As the years passed Anna became more known for her fight over her right to the fortune of her husband J. Howard Marshall. Anna had met him while working at a strip club called Gigi’s and after two years of courting Anna married him. Now I think we all know there wasn’t much hanky panky going on for he was 89 and she 26. I’ve always felt Anna filled a void in this man’s life. He wanted her to be cared and provided for and she should have been given some of his estate.

The years following the show Anna took the court case for her husband’s estate all the way to the Supreme Court (she won the case). Anna had lost huge amounts of weight supposedly with Trimspa, which she became a spokesperson for and seemed to bounce back for a bit.  She attempted to produce and act in a film again. Then she made several appearances on awards shows acting incoherent and under the influence of drugs.

We all know the story gets even sadder with the death of her son Daniel which led to the death of Anna herself on February 8, 2007. Both deaths were due to prescription drug overdoses. Highly publicized court cases ensued for custody of Anna’s young daughter Dannielynn. Even after her death Anna’s case for J. Howard Marshall’s fortune in her daughter’s name will be making its way back the Supreme Court in 2011 (their original ruling was overturned in appeal). Anna is still fighting and trying to secure a future for her own…

When we arrived in Vegas I ran to the nearest deli and ordered up two of the biggest kosher dills I could find. I presented Anna with the pickle and she was so delighted.  She gave me the biggest hug and we devoured our pickles in a quick minute. We then toasted with a glass of champagne to life, love and most of all fun….

I never pass a jar of pickles without thinking of Anna Nicole Smith and how wonderfully charismatic and fun she was.

Let’s all raise a pickle to the wonder that was Anna Nicole Smith. I so hope she is somewhere having fun forever…

Happy Birthday Anna! We miss you


By MargOH! Channing




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