Sherry from the vine…I’ll drink to that…

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, Sherry from the vine…I’ll drink to that…,

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, Sherry from the vine…I’ll drink to that…,

By MargOH! Channing

The crowd poured out of Splash on a crisp autumn eve after the Glammy Awards; A glamorous gaggle of gals in sequins, feathers and false eyelashes, crumbling after an evening of drinking and sweating through pancake. I was no exception and my nerves were wearing thin! Then out of nowhere the one and only Shealita Babay held her bible towards me, lunged forward calling me a vile bitch. I whipped my ostrich feather boa in front of her face as to dust her ill will off of me and dashed for a cab screaming.

I flung open the door and fell ungracefully into the seat while all of my vodka nips fell from my purse; I’m not paying those prices. I quickly went to grab them and then heard

“If you want to caress my leg shouldn’t I know your name?”

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry! It is a lovely gam especially splashed with a bit of bourbon. I licked a bit off her ankle”. I’m MargOH! I seductively whispered

Then Shealita Babay started slamming on the window screaming “Vile cunt” at me.

“Drive off!” the lovely legged creature demanded! Gathered herself and said “I’m Sherry Vine. Where are you headed?”

“Brooklyn, can we share the cab love? It’s so nice to meet you” as I dumped the remaining nips into my bag

“Is there a liquor store in that purse?” Sherry giggled

“Oh yes, I love a drink, especially dirty martini’s “What’s your tipple?

“I got turned onto CC and Ginger by Justin Bond.  But I drink Jack and ginger a lot also!”

I pulled out a jack and mini fridge ginger ale and poured them into my flask and handed it to Sherry. She gestured in a salute and downed a bit

“I was going to take the subway but Shealita was after me; I have to say I admire her conviction to her character.” The cab started swaying side to side and swerving and weaving in and out of ambulances and police cars.

“This is why I take the subway, How about you?”

“If I’m in drag, car.  Out of drag, subway or walking. I walk everywhere!” as Sherry grabbed the back of the seat to brace herself but she slid right across the seat and up against me.

“MargOH! swings both ways” I said, “are you currently involved with anyone?” as I slid my arm around her shoulder

Laughing out loud “Swinger!!  I’m currently going thru a break up so not interested in being involved right now.  Of course, that could change at 3am!” she winked at me but slid away to the other side of the cab

“What an exciting night for you, how do you feel about your “Entertainer of the Year” Glammy?”

“What an honor!!  I won the first Entertainer of The Year in 1997 so it was nice to get that love from my peers again.  The whole night was gorgeous and fun!!”

“And you look so effortlessly gorgeous tonight! You always look so flawless, how long does it take you to get ready?”

“Ten  minutes”, laughing!  “Usually ninety minutes, two hours for special occasions.  There’s a whole pound of make up on my face!  Plus, with the genius hair masters at WigBar.com how could I go wrong??”

“I’ll have to check them out; they must have done the wigs for your videos. The videos look so polished, how long do they usually take to shoot?’

“Honey, those videos are shot in a few hours at manic rapid speed! Chuckling as she gestured for a refill.  “The polishing is thanks to the brilliant work of directors Francis Legge and Blake Martin.”

“How did you come up with the idea for the Bad Romance video parody? I’ve cut out cabbage and started taking Imodium before I go out ever since”

“Well, I knew I wanted to do a parody of Bad Romance because I heard the GaGa’s video was going to be major.  So I was just playing with different rhymes and Shit My pants came out (don’t ask me why!) and I just went from there.  That’s my exciting Saturday night, searching the internet for words that rhyme with poop!”

Then our cabbie started laughing “You’re the shit my pants girl? My kids are loving that one” as he slammed on the breaks sending us flying forward. Pulling out a pad and pen and asking for an autograph. “Can I get two, my brother in Spain turned me onto your stuff, he’s a gay boy from Barcelona” Sherry obliged and adjusted her mini dress and crossed her legs all so elegantly smiled then gently my way.

“Didn’t you live in Spain and Germany for many years? Which do you prefer New York or Europe?”

She nodded “I love both.  I mean, NYC is home and always will be.  I’m always so happy to return to the Big Apple.  But the lifestyle in Europe is more me.  I like sitting down to drink coffee instead of everything always being on the go!  So luckily I get to enjoy both!”

We were now stuck in traffic and my stomach was grumbling so I took a swig of my flask and rubbed my tummy. “I’m starving” and pulled a bag of beer nuts out of my purse. Sherry looked amazed about how much was in my purse. I gestured for her to share my nuts but she declined so I asked

“Cock or balls?”

“I like meat AND potatoes!!  But if I had to choose one I think I can have more fun with the sausage!”

“MMMM, now I’m really hungry!”

“Tell me, if you were stranded on an island with your “Queens of Drag” co-stars who would you eat first?”

Laughing!  “Oh dear, you’re trying to get me in trouble.  I guess Bianca Del Rio because I love South of the Border!!  Some black beans and yellow rice – yummy!”

“Oh really, you likes it spicy?” I replied “She’s got a fun potty mouth and has made me rethink the use of white eyeliner altogether”

“I’m sure she’s a lovely gal, you have collaborated with so many other performers, who do you like working with most? Any chance you would do a duet with a budding brunette?’

“I love working with other performers. I never understood being intimidated by others.  I want to be surrounded by talented people.  Joey Arias, who I work the most with, is amazing and generous.  And with Raven O the trinity is complete and ready to rock.  Also Jackie Beat is the funniest person to be onstage with.  And yes lady – let’s do it!

“I love them, so fun! Maybe we can do a duet of “Islands in the Stream” or why not a Justin Beiber parody?” I roared with laughter

“Actually, I am working on one!  I know I will get bombarded with hate mail but no one is exempt!”

I laughed even louder, “I can’t wait to see that and I’ll be the first to send love mail.”

‘My street is coming up MargOH!” Sherry said gesturing for the cab to pull over

“Oh that’s too bad I’m having such fun, let’s have one more drink. This ride is on me!”

“Thanks MargOH!  We cheered to good health.

What the next big thing coming your way? Sherry looked down at my crotch and said “I don’t do that for a cab ride!”

In your career I mean silly? Laughing uproariously

“Oh! I’m working on a gay soap opera webisode called, The Flames of Hell’s Kitchen with David Serrano and a very talented cast.  Coming soon to sherryvine.com

and of course more songs and videos about poop and sucking dick!”

“I can’t wait for that doll! I hope you do more acting, I loved you as “Carrie” that must have been exciting, what’s the one role you’d love to play?”

“I have to say, Carrie was the highlight of my career so far.  That was a lifelong dream and hopefully it will be returning.  Theatre Couture will be back!  I would love to play Hedda Gabler and also do a drag version of The Three Sisters.”

“That would be fabulous; sure you don’t want me to come up Sherry?” As I winked

“Thanks for the offer MargOH! but I’m pooped.”

The cabbie chuckled “Pooped” shaking his head.

“Oh! How sad, this is the best runaway cab ride I’ve had in a while. You’re so sweet Sherry”.

“Thanks for the drink and ride MargOH!” handing me back the empty flask

What’s the one thing you’d like people to know about Sherry Vine?” I added

Pondering for a second “I’m a whore not a prostitute!”  Laughing as she exited the cab and waved goodbye

As she walked up to her door I watched the long legged beauty and thought…

I’ll take my Sherry from the vine anytime…she’s a class act!

“Where to now lady?” the cabbie asked

“Somewhere fabulous” as the car sped away light drops of Sherry rain lightly fell on my face…

By MargOH! Channing


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